Friends

Thanks to all of you wonderful people out there (my friends) I am doing quite well with this whole situation. I don't believe I have ever felt so much support from so many people about anything in my life. Without all of you I would be in a total slump. I would have still known that God loves me and that the atonement is there for me, but it would have been absolutely more difficult. I have found joy in speaking with people again. I was afraid many were going to condemn me for being a divorcee. Granted, some people don't quite know how to act around me or how to speak to me now that I am getting divorced, but I know that it's not out of malice and that it's just awkward for them. My family has been an infinite support to me as well. I know in a previous post it may have sounded a little like they weren't supporting me, but please please please don't think that. As I go through different phases of coping my tone tends to change and on a scared anxious day I tend to blame myself for more and worry about things that aren't really a problem. I am now completely moved out of the apartment and moved in at my parents. I'm so grateful that I have my family close enough that I am able to have a place to live. (Now switching topic)...I have made it a goal to try to read a few chapters out of the 'Book of Mormon' every night since this has all happened. I spoke with one of my best friends that had gone through a divorce and she said that often in situations like this one of the people involved tends to leave the church. She told me of her goal to read the 'BoM' in three months (fast for her) and how she felt like that and her prayers are what really kept her on track. I've enjoyed my reading time each night since it brings me peace and I am able to sleep and sleep deeply. I've also made more of an effort to say my prayers out loud. I know this may sound odd but it has helped me to feel closer to God and more like I'm holding a conversation with him. The car has also become a favorite place to pray (eyes open of course) because I just say how I'm feeling I can plead and cry and say whatever I want and no one can hear me or comment to me about it. I have resolved that I will not become bitter about this. I have a friend that did and I know that he will never be happy until he let's the bitterness dissipate and decided to forgive and be happy. I am young and beautiful and I have a great future ahead of me. I know this because God is my companion. I apologize for the depressing posts. I really am trying to be positive. I hope that good days like this make it worth reading through all of the complaining and self-doubts. Again, thank you for reading my blog!