Whole Bunch of Topics

I'm done! I'm done! No more sessions for me! It feels wonderful to know that I've done everything I can to move on from my divorce and that I have moved on. There are still little thoughts or moments that pop up every now and then, but I can deal with them and deal with them well. Next topic- After more thought I have decided not to become a midwife. It's not because I don't want to. It's because I physically can't. I don't know what my deal is, but if I don't sleep I fall apart... mentally and physically. I thought I could pull through and be fine with less sleep, but here I go and try it and I'm a mess for days. I'm still a major advocate for natural birth, but I can't deliver the babies myself. I had to think through my priorities and if I want a family and to be the mother and wife I want to be I just can't do it. I would neglect one of those rolls to fit in the midwifery and it's not fair to whomever my future family is. Now, for more things I love: 31. Long walks with someone you care about 32. Going to the temple 33. Playing volleyball 34. New socks 35. When it's cold enough to sleep with lots of blankets 36. Answered prayers 37. A clean kitchen 38. Clean, fresh smells 39. A good nights sleep 40. Being at peace

Session No. 4

I'm still going strong and on a good course. Jennifer thinks I'll need one more session and then I only need to come in for maintenance sessions if I feel I need one. I'm in another relationship and certain things can trigger memories or fears from my divorce. The person I'm dating isn't causing the fears it is just a result of of my divorce. So, my goal is to make sure I let myself feel the feelings that surface, but that I also step back and observe the what and whys of what I am feeling and that my actions to those feelings are healthy. Sometimes the action I need to take is to talk to the person involved, but that is scary business. When you open your heart like that to someone you become vulnerable, and being vulnerable means I could get hurt. As much as it scares me it's a risk I'm willing to take. If you let fear stand in your way you would never do anything and personally for myself I want to live life to its fullest, which means risks. So far, the results have been worth the risk :) So, if you have gone through or are going through something that is causing you to have fear in your heart, trust in the Lord and let him bear you up. Fear is not of God so do what it takes to remove that fear from your life. For me it has meant getting counseling and letting myself trust certain people (even though it may be scary), and praying my heart out. It has been worth it :)