Turning a New Leaf

Today has been one of the most difficult days of my life. My husband and I have been separated for about a week and a half and it's been tough. Then tonight I received a text from Josh, my husband, asking me if I could meet him at our apartment. I agreed and when I got there Josh spoke to me for a minute and then handed me divorce papers. I have had a feeling for a while now that it was coming. I didn't do anything except for ask if he really thought that counseling wouldn't help. We started going to a counselor two weeks ago and last week he didn't show. He said that he thought we were too different, that it was past trying to fix things. I kept my composure until he left with his mother and then I broke. I have never felt so helpless in all of my life. The one thing that I did have was my God blessing me with his peace. He has given it to me through this whole ordeal and I would not have survived without it. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad for me or to complain to receive pity. I just want a place to lay out my thoughts and express how God has blessed my life, for He is truly omnipotent and all-knowing. One of the greatest examples of this is how Josh and I never went on birth-control and were trying for a baby this whole time. We desired it greatly and yet were never blessed with that little miracle. Now I am ever grateful that we didn't have a child to complicate this whole matter further. God knew our hearts and what was going to happen, so that now I will only be a single woman and not a single mother. My heart is filled with thanks. This could have dragged on for years and years and have caused so much suffering, but God has brought me peace. I know that I did everything I could to try to save our marriage. I've never worked harder at anything at my life. I'm just glad that I can have a clear conscience about all that has happened. It's times like these when you know who your real friends are and you come to appreciate your family all the more. They have been such a support to me through all of this. I have felt so much love and compassion. So, now, I am making a decision. I am going to be happy. I am going to move on. I have hope of happiness now. I will find a man that loves me and treats me like his most precious possession. I'll be his partner and he my dearest friend. There is always light at the end of the tunnel for God never gives us a burden that is to great for us to carry. He has made it possible for us to give up our pain, burdens, sins... whatever it may be. Now I can experience the atonement like never before as it heals hurt and pain :)