Another Step

Yesterday was my older sister's bridal shower. I never guessed how hard that would be. It was the first shower I've been to since I got married and now soon to be divorced. I've been doing great over these past few weeks and I really feel as if I'm moving on, but wow! Sometimes it's so hard to see others blissfully happy. I'm not jealous really I guess I just got on a bit of a pity-party for myself. It was like everything that was being said related to Josh and I when I had my bridal shower. Then there is always the piece of advice they want you to give the person to be married but, I don't feel qualified to give such advice. I mean really??? You're asking me??? My marriage didn't make it. Aren't you afraid I'll curse you with destructive advice? I'm sure with a little more time I'll get over this little phase. It makes me feel terrible. I couldn't even make it through the shower. I ended up crying and having to leave before anyone could see. When I apologized to my sister this morning my sister stated how ironic it was that I would end up feeling that way at her shower since in a way she felt the same way at mine. I'm glad that experience is over though. I tend to do a little better each time I go through something like that and I am SOOOO grateful that it works that way. The Lord grants healing and what was the most destructive to me as a person has been healed it's just the scrapes and bruises now and they fade a little more each day. I'm glad that my sister has her chance to be happy now and that she was so forgiving to me in my weakness. The more I desire others to be happy the faster I become happy and forget all of the hurt. One completely different point.... I have something that needs to be addressed. I may have done so earlier, but I'm not really sure I did. Rumors have started that (not just the fear of them going around) Josh left me because I am bi-polar. I'll tell you right now I'm not. I don't have depression and I don't have mania. The biggest thing I have is mild anxiety. If any of you hear this I would ask you to please, confront the person saying it and let them know that it isn't true and ask them not to repeat it. The source of this rumor is using it to protect themselves. I ask you to again, to please disregard it. Thank you for watching out for me.