Counseling Session No. 2

It's time to write about my counseling session :) To tell you straight off my counselor is fantastic. I never thought I would say that about any counselor, but here I am, publishing it for the world to see. She wanted me to start what we were to talk about and I didn't really know where to begin, so she asked me about out previous session. I just smiled at her and chuckled as I said that I thought it was funny that she had me take a co-dependency test. Her response was that I obviously wasn't but many women my age were. That made me feel for women my age. SO to those women I say: Buck up! You don't NEED a man to feel complete and to be happy. Take charge of your life and your happiness! The more experiences I have in life the more it is confirmed to me that happiness is a decision. God wants us to be happy and he has provided us with multitudinous reasons to be happy. Now back to the counseling session... We talked more about my divorce and our goal was to figure out why exactly I was at counseling and what I wanted to accomplish by it. By the end we had done it! Here's my deal: I now struggle with trusting myself. I did everything I could to prepare myself for the marriage relationship and picking the correct partner. I didn't even kiss my ex until we were engaged because I wanted to be sure that I wasn't falling in love for physical reasons. I prayed and received confirmation about marrying Josh. We asked questions non-stop and even used one of those question books to make sure we weren't skipping over any important topics. So, my counselor finally realized that I DID do everything in my power to make a good decision when it came to marriage and that I really couldn't have done much more to assure me of the decision I was making and Josh still ended it and left me. Now my deal is that I don't really trust myself when it comes to making that decision again. A part of me does, but not all of me. So my counselor and I will be working on my regaining that assurance and confidence. The nice thing is that this whole thing seems correct. I'm not angry. I don't want Josh back. I just want to be able to trust myself in what I feel about relationships again. I CAN do it and I AM doing it and guess what, it makes me happy! I love myself and I'm gonna love myself more! (Not in a pigheaded way. In a healthy sort of way) Now, you love yourself too, not so much that people start to dislike you because you think you're the bee's knees, but enough that you remember that God created you and loves you too!